G.M. Nair's Excuse For A Newsletter #2

 Oh, we're doing this again? 

For those of you who are new to this newsletter, welcome! Thank you so much for subscribing and for your interest in my content. I promise you'll find a wealth of information and entertainment below. Please enjoy, and if you'd like to catch up on what you missed you can check out .  For those of you who are returning subscribers:  Welcome back, suckers! You didn't realize that when you signed up for my newsletter that I would be sending you mediocre content for all eternity! And there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT*.  Now strap yourselves in for a ghoulishly spine-tingling Halloween edition of - what? It's November already? Goddamn it, Chet**. You're supposed to keep track of this shit. Now I look like an idiot!  *the unsubscribe link is at the bottom of this e-mail. **Chet is the unpaid intern I hired to help me put together newsletter content every month. He fucking SUCKS.

What's New With Me? 

For those of you who were here last month, you may remember that I was scheduled for one of my first author talks at the Strand in New York City with two other independent authors.

I'm happy to report that for Baby's First Book Talk everything went incredibly smoothly!  And then I got on stage.

They laughed at me. They all laughed at me! It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. Why were they all laughing at me?  Chet, what're you doing? Don't you dare hug me. You smell like vape smoke and Four Loko. Get the hell away from me. Where did you even get Four Loko?  Anyway, it was a pretty fun time. Hopefully I'll get to do more in the future! But not too soon, because this month I'm doing NaNoWriMo!  Yes, that's right! Chet - on one of his more lucid days - signed me up, so I'm finally dipping my toes into National Norfolk terrier Wringing Month and I'm itching to squeeze the shit out of some tiny dogs.

...what? National Novel Writing Month? Well, okay, I guess it's topical, at least. What do I have to do for that?  FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS? Chet, what the fuck. I can't write FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS in a month. Why did you think this was a good idea?  Christ.  Well, I'm screwed now. If you want to follow my pitiful progress, or - god forbid - be buddies, you can find me on the NaNoWriMo website as "NairForceOne", and if you're in New York City, I'll probably be attending some of the meetups. So if you see me, keep a safe distance or the smell may overwhelm you. 

The Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire Section 

If you're new here, you might not know about my seminal non-award-winning independent sci-fi/mystery/comedy book Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire. If you haven't, you soon will, because that's what I'm going to be plugging in this section. Click the image below and check it out! The ebook is only $2.99, and is available for free on Kindle Unlimited.

  If you'd prefer not to support Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos (I like to call him Jeff BEELZEBUB!), then please traipse on down to your local bookstore and ask for it by name.  Alternatively, I'm pleased to announce that you can now order hardcover and softcover copies of my books DIRECTLY FROM ME - thus keeping your hard-earned money out of the pockets of unsightly tech CEOs and into the pockets of unsightly me. If this tickles your fancy, pop on over to my NEW STORE and grab a hard or softcover copy. You can even have them signed by me, if you're some sort of weirdo who thinks it'll increase the book's value!

If you have read the book already, thanks so much for taking a chance on a rinky-dink independent sci-fi comedy. If you liked it (or even if you hated it), I'd really appreciate it if you left a review for me on Amazon and Goodreads. It'd really help me out a lot.

Who gave you a bluetooth keyboard, Chet? Look what you've done. No, Chet! Give me that. Give it! Go back to your cube. I'm keeping this now. No, I don't want coffee! Get out of here!

Duckett & Dyer: The One-Hundred Percent Solution, the ever-forthcoming sequel, is still in progress, and I hope to finish the first draft of it by the end of NaNoWriMo! After that, I'll take what will essentially be gibberish and put it through countless iterations of drafting and redrafting until it becomes fairly readable. Otherwise, you're going to be stuck with nonsense like this: 

  Stay tuned to this space for future news and more excerpts!

Who's Reviewing Me Now?

  Here's a new section this month that covers recent reviews for Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire and other works of mine. But since I have no other works and am basically a one-trick pony, here're some of the most notable new reviews for Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire.  First up, A.R. Hellbender (which is the name I wish I had) featured me in one of her latest booktube wrap-up videos on Youtube. Check it out below, and don't forget to smash and destroy the like and subscribe buttons, because she does some good work!

Amarana Frobes, author of Dead Remnants, recently finished Duckett & Dyer as well and loved it, which is great news because I freakin' loved her book. Do yourself a favor and check it out here.  I'd also like to throw a shout-out to Evelina at Avalinah's Books who was kind enough to give me a glowing 4.5 star review. Check her site out above to dig into all her book blogging awesomeness.  Also, this past month Duckett & Dyer received its first two star review that called it "just dumb" and stated the premise was "ridiculous". So I have to say, out of everyone who's reviewed the book so far, this is the only person who's gotten it right.

What the hell else do you want from me?

Once again, I'm always eager to hear comments, questions, and stupid ideas from my extremely beautiful and intelligent audience. If there's something you'd like me to do in a future edition of this newsletter, let me know! I'd love to create some unique content based on your suggestions because it saves me mental energy from making stuff up on my own. You will receive no credit.  No, Chet. I'm not putting up your reviews for vape juice.  That's all from me this month guys. Thanks for reading!

  CHET GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

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