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- G.M. Nair's Excuse For A Newsletter #7
G.M. Nair's Excuse For A Newsletter #7
You thought you had heard the last of me, didn't you? Well, surprise, sucker!
We’re Back, BAYBEE.
For those of you who signed up for this newsletter voluntarily, I ensured you it would be unintrusive and that I wouldn’t spam you with e-mails. While that is true, it’s mostly because I wanted an out if I didn’t have anything important to say and/or was too lazy to write regular updates.
Both of those things have been accurate for a while, but now I’ve got some news, so I figured I’d write a letter about it!
News? What News?
Well, first of all, Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire has been entered into Hugh Howey and Duncan Swan’s 1st Annual Self-Published Science Fiction Competition!
Since this contest depends on the tastes of the 10 reviewing groups of bloggers and not any of you fine folks, I’m afraid all my bribes will be heading their way. Don’t worry, you’re not missing out. They’re not very large bribes.
Regardless, I’ve been clamoring for something like this every since I saw that the Self-Published Fantasy Blog-Off didn’t have a sci-fi counterpart, so I’m pretty excited. Plus I’ll be one degree of separation away from Hugh Howey, so some of his success is bound to trickle down onto me. Right?
Alright, What Else?
Geeze, pushy aren’t we? Well, fine. There is more, and this stuff is even more exciting, because it means more stuff for you m̶i̶n̶d̶l̶e̶s̶s̶,̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶e̶n̶t̶-̶h̶u̶n̶g̶r̶y̶ ̶z̶o̶m̶b̶i̶e̶s̶ amazing, beautiful people to devour.
Earlier this year, Amazon announced Kindle Vella, a sort of serialized fiction platform like Wattpad, Royal Road, and Radish. Having never heard about any of those sites before, I decided that I knew exactly what it took to succeed in this arena, and have launched not one but TWO serialized stories on Kindle Vella. Check the clickable titles below!
In aftermath of a war that crippled the galaxy, the lone survivor of a once immortal race sees its chance to resurrect its kind - even if it has to destroy the universe to do so. That is, unless fledgling scientist Ana Jaynes and her ill-equipped allies can outwit a god. THE CENTRE OF ALL THINGS is a classic space opera with a dash of modern flavor - a mix of Foundation, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and Guardians of the Galaxy - to capture the feeling of being a small speck in an unknowable universe.
When Parvati Chakraborty rescues her ex-ex-ex-boyfriend Henry Liang from the mental breakdown he's suffered in an airport lounge, he convinces her the only way to get his life back on track is to help him find a bizarre, heroic figure from his childhood known only as 'The Chewbacca Man'. To do that, the two take a fantastical cross-country road trip through the weird, magical underbelly of America, which forces them to confront a greater evil and the existential emptiness they both feel.
So if you’re into the serialized fiction thing, or just want to read more of my work (unlikely), check out my stories on Kindle Vella - a web fiction platform from the people who brought you such hit, long-lasting concepts as Kindle Worlds, Kindle Scout, and Kindle Serials. The first three episodes are free, so you’ve got very little to lose. And if you do like them, this is the chance to get in on the ground floor of an amazing opportunity to give me literal fractions of a cent.
The Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire Section
If you're new here, you may be aware of my award-eligible independent sci-fi/mystery/comedy novel series Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire. If you haven't, you soon will, because that's what I'm going to be plugging in this section. Both the first and second books are, as ever, available on Amazon Click the images below and check em out! The ebooks are only $3.99 each, and are available for free on Kindle Unlimited.
If you'd prefer not to support multi-billionaire, wealthy astronaut, and former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos (I like to call him Jeff SPACE-os, because he’s not coming back from orbit), then please head down to your local independent bookstore or hit up IndieBound.Org and ask for Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire by name. Accept some substitutes!
Anyway, none of that is really news, but what is is that I’ve continued work on the third book in the series - and the one with my favorite title so far:
And I’d like to share an short excerpt from one of the many short stories that will populate this bad boy. This one is from THE PASSION OF THE HEIST, a classic heist story that gets completely derailed by the mere presence of Michael Duckett and Stephanie Dyer.
“William DeFaux,” Mike said under his breath, like he usually did when he didn’t want to look like a know-it-all, but wanted to confirm to himself that he did – in fact – know it all. Steph figured it was a self-esteem thing.
“Yes, actually,” the curator confirmed. “In the late 80s and early 90s before it went into Mr. Pembroke’s private collection, the Bloodstone was targeted on seventeen different occasions by the infamous cat burglar known only as William DeFaux.”
Steph blinked. “Willem Dafoe? The actor?”
“No, Steph,” Mike chided. “William DeFaux.”
“Willem Dafoe,” she repeated.
“WILL-EE-AM DE-FAUX.” He enunciated, as if she were a child.
“Willem Dafoe!” She said in a burst of exasperation. “I’m saying what you’re saying! Y’know what? Forget it.” Steph turned her attention back to the curator who had his head in his hands. “See? He's fed up, too. So, this guy, is he behind bars now or what?”
“Well, no. William DeFaux hasn’t been heard from since. And law enforcement hasn’t been able to track him since nobody really knows what he looks like.”
“How does nobody know what he looks like? He was the bad guy in Spider-Man One!”
“The point is,” the curator cleared his throat in attempt to reassert his tenuous authority. “Whether or not William DeFaux is still out there, the museum has employed a state-of-the-art security system to keep the Bloodstone secure even during its transport to the Vatican.”
“So you think he’s gonna strike, don’tcha?” Steph waggled her eyebrows. “That’d be pretty cool. Wouldn't it?”
“Steph, don’t egg him on.” Mike said, but as he turned to the curator, his expression changed. “But it would be pretty cool, right? I’ve been casually researching the Bloodstone for years and I just find the whole robbery angle kind of fascinating.”
“Well, rest assured if DeFaux does attempt to steal the stone again, we’ll be waiting.” The curator took an exaggerated glance at his watch as if to belabor the hint. “Looks like that’s all the time we have today folks. The museum is closing. Please find your way to the exits and have a good day.”
“Do you guys have like a giant steel cage that falls from the ceiling?” Steph asked.
“Oh, what about one of those laser grids?” Mike chimed in.
“Please find your way to the exits, and have a nice day,” The curator forced his words through gritted teeth as he shambled off through the back way of the exhibit.
Hopefully that whet your appetites for THE MYSTERY OF THE MURDERED GUY, which drops later this year. …I hope.
What else do you want from me?
Thanks for reading this edition of my newsletter (or scrolling all the way down, at least).
I'm always eager to hear comments, questions, and stupid ideas from my extremely beautiful and intelligent audience. If there's something you'd like me to do in a future edition of this newsletter, let me know! I'd love to create some unique content based on your suggestions because it saves me mental energy from making stuff up on my own. You will receive absolutely no credit.
And if you’re wondering where Chet’s gone to, so am I. I haven’t seen that little bastard in months. Hell, I thought he was in jail, but I keep finding the anti-desiccation packets from bags of beef jerky everywhere, so he’s gotta be somewhere around here. Whatever. It’s fine. I have a bat with a railroad spike through it on me at all times.
Anyway, that’s all from me this time! Stay well, and stick around for more Duckett & Dyer and serial story updates!